HCD - Heaven's Complaint Department

We received a complaint today. One of our greeting cards is apparently not amusing. It's one of the top reordered cards, mind you, but according to this person it's not funny and should be removed from our catalog.

Isn't it interesting how we are always right and everyone else is always wrong?

But the good news is that this complaint has given me the boldness to put together a list of complaints for God based on my humble opinion. I am sending this directly to God's complaint desk which I assume is manned by the one attorney that made it into Heaven.

List of Complaints for God:
#1: Mosquitoes - they serve no good purpose, suck blood, spread disease and try swatting one with a hoof.
#2: The National Media - they serve no good purpose, suck blood, spread disease and try swatting one with a hoof. Could we just get one unbiased story?
#3: Broccoli - Could we not transfer the health benefits from such a horrid, rancid smelling vegetable to Cheetos? Maybe compromise and add the benefits to apples?
#4: Political speeches - Why not have an accountant or two up in Heaven (I'm assuming they're there making sure everyone tithed) fact check everything said and promised and zap them with electricity during any lies. Perhaps all that would be left is "I'm so-and-so and I approved this message".
#5: Fat Free Cheese - While I understand man made up this one, I believe it's an abomination. It melts funny, tastes funny, looks funny, has little form or substance, and worst of all - ruins a good meal...or wait am I talking about the national media again.