Welcome Courier, Blackwater, & former Navy Seals

As President of Fattened Calf, Inc., I'd like to welcome the Courier readers today. The Lincoln, IL newspaper was kind enough to do a story on our company that I believe will be in print later today.

In the paper, you may notice pictures of humans representing themselves as myself and the other principles of the company. So you know - they are doubles. With me being a cow, it's difficult to stand on my hind legs for extended interviews and pictures so I hire others to handle the press.

In fact, with the cards selling well, I may hire Blackwater as security guards. Nothing like having a retired Navy Seal around. Speaking of which, the President of Blackwater did quite well when he sat before Congress. I truly have a hard time criticizing what is mostly former top military folks who fought for our freedom, especially when my greatest danger currently is getting cud down the wrong pipe (it's a cow thing, sorry).

Anyway, thank you for joining us at Fattened Calf! We're glad you took the time to check us out. Here's a map to help you find stores with our cards. Go Lincoln!

[Picture was taken at the Lincoln Art and Balloon Festival]